Provocare Coaching

Do you ever feel overconfident? Do you overinflate your ego to the point where it can become a menace to yourself and others?

To be successful in life, work, or any other endeavour, we must balance our confidence with humility.

Overconfidence and overinflated ego are dangerous because they lead people down a path of pride which will quickly turn into self-destruction. Overconfidence can be an enemy of success. It comes with overestimation of our own life experience, skills, intelligence and talent.

With so much pressure on personal branding, generating followers, and self-help gurus teaching us that the key to success is self-belfie rather than self-acceptance, it is far too quickly tip the scales.

Ego can deceive us into thinking that we know more than we do, that we are capable of doing anything, are more critical than others, which leads to missing learning and growth opportunities, wasting energy in spaces where there is fat chance of success, taking advantage of others and believing our own internal dangerous bull shit and self-limited perspective. We end up in the area of comparative office politics, and our attitudes become biased.

While it’s true that success requires healthy confidence and hard work, when you overcook your self-importance, then potentially become destructive, you need to know when it’s time to step back to avoid the guaranteed fall that comes with pride.

So what does overconfidence look like? Overconfidence looks like over-claiming or overstating our abilities; it also includes bragging about ourselves, claiming sole success, and forgetting those who helped. We blame everyone else for any obstacles in our path rather than taking ownership and responsibility for our part in any problem or solution. It says that above or below my pay grade.

Our conversation centres around me, my and I rather than we, the team, the organisation. It fails to listen or understand context, or what others can teach us, show us. It makes us look arrogant. On our actions, we tend to go where angels fear to tread, and caution is thrown to the wind. It misses the warnings that come from experience, healthy doubts, fears, and anxiety. It ignores the added value of collaboration, teamwork, being open to ideas from others, being humble enough to see the limits of our knowledge and experience. It misses the power of humility and gratitude.

Overconfident people and organisations tend not to take criticism well because they think feedback is about them rather than the mission or objective.

Achieving the middle road and balance is what is vital. The balance between overconfidence and humility requires us to put knowledge into context by understanding our limitations and the potential contribution that we and others can make. It needs us to act in line with our talents, what we are good at. It requires us to have humility enough to know when to ask for help when to learn from others, take the time to understand different perspectives, to be open to feedback.

We need to be grateful for what others bring to the table and value it and learn to put the interests of others, the mission, the objective or the organisation first.

Healthy self-esteem is a crucial ingredient to success, but humility is the excellent fertiliser of our growth and fuels our journey. It allows us to keep our eyes wide open, not miss opportunities. It helps us see the bigger picture, open our eyes to what others can teach and show us. It builds resilience. We are less likely to burn out or have a needless conflict with others when we know our limits and strengths and the value of what others bring.

Fear and anxiety are not the demons people make it out to be. It’s the overconfidence, overinflated ego, that is. Fear and anxiety are what keep us humble enough to ask for help before making a mistake or failing miserably in front of everyone else.

When we learn to embrace our fears and accept them as part of ourselves rather than fight against them, it becomes a powerful ally. It can help us know to say no when overcommitment is not the answer, and it allows us to take our time and play through another day rather than rush into things without thinking about consequences or conversely over-plan because we are anxious about failing if we don’t try hard enough or do more than others

We would love to hear your thoughts on how you achieve a healthy balance between confidence, gratitude, overcoming paralysing fear, celebrating self-worth, success and staying humble and authentic?